Al Gore Reforms FIST, Declares War on Libertas

2016-12-01

Led by former Vice President Al Gore, the former members of FIST have reconvened in ‘one final session, to defeat Libertas once and for all’.

FIST has the full backing of various activist organization sas well as the federal government, and as such the members now have access to vast amounts of resources, both technological and financial.

President Incumbent James Covey said in a statement:

It is an honor to be working again with these gentlemen and ladies, who have already made great strides in this war – and yes, it is a war, now. Together, we are going to win, and take back our Internet

Libertas published a press release shortly after the attack

We welcome the new competition and look forward to destroying you. Shame that we’re going to have to kill the true inventor of the internet to do so.

Massive Nationwide Sting in Four Cities, Dozens Arrested

2015-09-30

Over five dozens individuals were arrested in a massive series of arrests in connection to the VitaminK botnet that ravaged the nation over the past month.

The FBI, in conjunction with the members of FIST, was able to determine that CabbageCorp was utilizing Google Fiber’s massive bandwith to allow their botnet – VitaminK – maximum potency.

Most of the organizational individuals were identified in the arrests, including the other two co-creators of CabbageCorp – ‘red_cabbage’ and ‘green_cabbage’. CabbageCorp’s members appear to have scattered as a result of the arrests, and it is unclear if the group will recover.

Entire United States RickRolled in Lateset CabbageCorp attack

Persons posing as FBI agents uploaded malicious code to the control servers of the seven largest ISPs in the United States.

Any user that was browsing any webpage was immediately re-directed to a video of Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’, effectively rick-rolling the entire United States.

The re-direct appeared to only last until the user navigated away from the video:

Anti-NN Bill Failes in House

The Undo Title II Act failed in the House today after being vetoed by the President.

As soon as the announcement occurred, all VitaminK-related attacks immediately ceased.

FIST Lightning Round 2

2015-09-15

The Undo Title II Act was vetoed by the President, as expected.

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Google is now experiencing intermittent outages of its various products. All other attacks have continued, with Facebook now almost completely offline.

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Directory Comey continues his presidential campaign, with brief appearances in Miami and Denver before returning to FIST.

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Pew Reseach Public Opinion Poll Results:

• FIST: Generally Unfavorable (‘not active enough’)
• CabbageCorp: Very Unfavorable (‘they’re kind of mean’)
• Sprin&T/Verizon: Very Unfavorable (‘I can’t access my internets!’)
• Comcast: Extremely Unfavorable, although they haven’t been active in recent events

Anti-NN Bill Passes Senate, VitaminK Goes Into Overdrive

2015-09-10

The Undo Title II Act passed the Senate today, and is expected to be vetoed by the President.

VitaminK’s attacks have multiplied, with Verizon and Sprin&T customers unable to surf the web above a snail’s pace. The FBI’s website is also inaccessible, and Facebook customers are reporting intermittent access. Yahoo!’s sports pages are offline, though the rest of the site remains accessible. Google’s services remain online.

VitaminK Strengthes as anti-NN Legislation Passes House

2015-09-05

Verizon and Sprin&T mobile customers today are experiencing major slowdowns as VitaminK continues its reign of terror. A press release from a CabbageCorp spokesperson stated that ‘this is partially due to the anti-Net Neutrality bill currently snaking its way through Congress’

The bill – the Undo Title II Act – was passed by the House earlier today along party lines. It is expected to pass the Senate, and vetoed by the Obama administration, who has come out against the bill.

Verizon and Sprin&T represent the largest lobbiers for the bill, while Google and a Wikipedia-led coalition are its strongest opposers financially.

VitaminK Shifts Sights, Facebook Down

2015-09-03

For the second time in Facebook’s history, Facebook US is completely down for much of the continental US. CabbageCorp immediately claimed responsibility.

The attack on Google appears to have been lifted.

FIST Lightning Round

2015-09-02

It’s official: The 2016 Presidential Run will be Clinton v. Comey. Facebook has lobbied very heavily in the Clinton campaign, with Zuckerberg’s money finding hold in Silicon Valley.

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The Director of the FBI has announced the release date of his autobiography, entitled ‘James B. Comey: Faithful Husband, Proud Father, Civil Servant’, which seems to be an attempt to boost his presidential campaign

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AT&T and Sprint merged in a landmark deal today. The new conglomerate, named Sprin&T, was signed off by the FTC

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Legislation that would undo the Title II ruling by the FCC earlier this year was introduced by the House today. Verizon was a substantial lobbier for the legislation.

CabbageCorp Botnet, VitaminK, Returns, Google First to Feel Attack

2015-09-01

CabbageCorp today announced earlier today that ‘a series of attacks’ would commence against members of FIST over the next two weeks, ‘in retaliation for their roles in the Dallas attack’. The attacks would utilize their botnet, named ‘VitaminK’, which was responsible for the initial slowdown more than a month ago.

Google’s services have been sluggish since the announcement, and security researchers across the country are scrambling to determine the nature of the attack.